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Overcoming
To
talk without speaking
listen without hearing
work without producing
and
rule without leading
Creates
words without meaning
sound processed without understanding
jobs done without purpose
and
orders given without conscience leads to
gibberish
silence
failure
and
revolution.
©2020 Noreen Braman
Useless blood spilled
appeasing non-existent gods
the life taken to ensure
the lives of others will go on
never stopped earthquake
tsunami or pyroclastic flow
made it rain
blessed the crops
or protected hordes of warriors
in uncountable battles of pointless wars
Death was the only winner.
And now you tell me
sacrifice myself
on the altar of an ancient god
made of stolen gold
my blood in exchange for
monetary stability
status quo
the kingdom over the
surplus population
dangling generations of descendants
in front of my eyes
while the barons of finance
hide out in their counting houses
and those who once we thought of as leaders
sputter and threaten and withhold favor
choosing instead to watch from afar
as the rabble fight each other
over food and medicine and haircuts
pointing fingers at each other
assuming no blame for their actions
listening to new world Svengalis
spinning tales of intrigue
proposing heretical solutions
hiding behind philosophies and beliefs
they push on others
but ignore themselves
While death is the only winner.
And now you tell me I owe my life
to the future in which you have already dirtied your hands
where you have pushed your piles
of filth and betrayal ahead
as gifts for those same
generations of descendants
Do they not dangle before your eyes?
Do they not know your dread complicity?
And your schemes and plans and usury
for only your own benefit in this world of today?
I would step in front of a bullet
throw myself in the path of a train
sell all my possessions
and mortgage my soul
to spare my progeny suffering
but I will not die on your altar of gold
to support your narcissistic survival scheme
and with my last breath I will call you out
for the harm you have done to humanity
And not let death be the winner.
©2020 Noreen Braman
(and why does Hamlet still sneak into my essays?)
As 2024 rides off into the sunset, and 2025 peeks over the horizon, the old standby question comes up. “What are your New Year’s Resolutions?” Some of us are very serious about this, others play with the idea, while another mindset is to resolve NOT to make any resolutions (which, in one respect IS a resolution.)
There are unhappy failure rates published this time of year, ranging from 80% to 99%, depending on surveys, guesswork, and personal opinions. The stats don’t matter in the long run. Either you fulfilled you goal completely, worked on it for a while and dropped it, wrote down something then never looked at it again, or patted yourself on the back for not jumping on the bandwagon.
However, whether it is a new year, or just any day in any month, taking some time to assess your dreams, desires, accomplishments and strike-outs is a healthy practice. In that respect, using a new year can give you a nice 12-month period of time to think about. This helps me a lot, because I am the person who can start ruminating failures starting from having to stand in the corner in first grade. (why I am terrible about ruminating about past successes is the subject of a different article.)
Here are some questions I consider;
What are my "did work" and "didn't works" for the past 12 months? Making this list is probably the longest part of my process.
For the “did work” things — what did I do that made them successful and how to use what I learned going forward?
For the “didn’t work” things — What were the mis-steps and can they be corrected? Do I want to return to the failure or mistake and try to revitalize it, or should I learn a lesson from it and just move on?
What can I spend more time on?
What can I eliminate?
What skill, habit or practice can I add, and when can I start?
What new ideas are percolating in my mind, and how can I start working on them?
Did I live up to my own version of myself, including my personal relationships, and did I laugh enough?
Here are other important things I consider:
Things I can control and things I cannot control.
Situations I can change, and those I cannot change.
What gave me joy, sense of purpose and resilience, and what did not.
Of course, the answers and the actions to take are not always simple. My decisions will involve and affect both my personal and my professional life, and the lives of my loved ones. Those steps forward can range from tweaking something, to life-changing plans.
In the case of items and situations I cannot control, learning how to accept those issues – not letting them "live in my head" – will help my personal well-being. I know this, and yet, still struggle with this particular habit. I also need to regularly remind myself that things or actions that give me joy and a sense of purpose may not be "profitable," but a sensible investment in my resilience, happiness, and self-satisfaction.
As I move forward into the new year, I will be resolving to keep these words about hope in mind. What resolutions, ideas, or wise words will you resolve to keep in mind?
“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier.'” — Alfred Lord Tennyson
When thinking about life, it is easy to understand why so many cultures have stories and legends about gods, goddesses, and all sorts of beings invested with power over the human life. In times when diseases were not understood, it made perfect sense that someone, or something evil, caused afflictions. Recently, it has been The Fates that occupied my thoughts. One Fate to spin the thread of life, one to measure that thread, and one to cut the thread to end life. Their work seemed capricious, taking down both good and evil gods, as well as mortal humans. In fact, their power over life and death made them the most feared and the most powerful of all the magical deities in both Greek and Roman mythology.
Three weeks ago, I was given health news that made me think of my own golden thread. How Atropos may have been sharpening her scissors not so far behind me. Meanwhile, Cotho, the spinner and Lachesis, the allotor, would continue to spin and measure until the scissor performed its duty.
I spent anxious days waiting until the "as soon as possible" test would confirm what I had already been told - a 90% chance of a heart attack — soon. I learned how capricious life is. Within two weeks I lost two friends. One who had called me to tell me she was going to die, and there was nothing to do for it, so she was at peace with it. She said she specifically called me to “make her laugh,” using my Laughter Wellness powers. And laugh we did. We made plans for a short visit, depending on how her day would be going, but the Fates had other plans. On the day I was having my nuclear scan and stress test, she passed away in her sleep.
This news came right after there was an unexpected turn of events for me. Had this been Ancient Greek, I would have sworn that Zeus intervened for me. After the testing, my doctor had called me and said, despite the frightful calcium score, my heart was just fine — not just fine, but strong, and there were no restrictions to blood flow. As he had originally predicted from my first visit, he instructed me to continue with my cholesterol meds, stay on the baby aspirin, and come back in six months. Atropos would have to wait.
As I was processing mixed emotions, three days later, a long-time friend died suddenly and unexpectedly. I could not comprehend it. My grief-stricken brain kept playing out the “why” and “what if” scenarios. As humans, the only guarantee is that you will die — your golden thread of life will run out.
I know in my heart that there are no Fates pulling the strings. The world is full of religions, beliefs, theories, and superstitions. In times of grief, heartache, and loss, we seek out to make sense of tragedy through our beliefs. Well-meaning friends offer condolences, prayers, meditations, hugs and helping hands. But in the end, Death holds all the threads, and leaves behind the scars of loss. Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy said it best:
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
May all our wounds gently rest as scars, and memories of shared smiles and laughter weave a golden thread around our hearts, to bring us comfort.
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.”
Samwise Gamgee, The Return of the King, JRR Tolkein
Links to things I need to remember:
